


these stars will guide us home

by WayfaringPages



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, Miscommunication, They love each other so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:47:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29202318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WayfaringPages/pseuds/WayfaringPages
Summary: John B and Sarah are two thousand miles apart and missing each other.A long distance fic full of angst, fluff + an eventual happy ending.
Relationships: Sarah Cameron & JJ & Kiara & Pope & John B. Routledge, Sarah Cameron & John B. Routledge, Sarah Cameron/John B. Routledge
Comments: 21
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A little idea that wouldn’t leave my brain – I liked the idea of this fic and exploring this and the angst was hurting my heart to write but LDR’s can be tough and I kinda wanted to imagine how Jarah would deal with this. The pogues are all 18/19 + there's no gold / treasure hunt in this AU! 
> 
> I also wanted to make this realistic with how potential insecurities and doubts may play on their minds, especially John B’s being so far and he being the one at home and Sarah at college meeting new people so keep that in mind if any potentially ooc things happen lol. Happy ending promised though, so don’t hate me too much whilst reading!

Long distance sucked. It sucked and she hated it and people had told them it would be hard but John B and Sarah had just shrugged it off, choosing to believe that they were the exception to the rule. That wouldn’t be them they swore, being apart wouldn’t change anything. But it had. 

Sarah had missed John B from the moment that they had said goodbye at the airport. She hadn’t wanted to let him go when her departure time was called, holding onto his shirt tightly and burrowed her face into the juncture between his neck and shoulder, where her head fit so perfectly. He held her tightly, kissing her full lips, her cheeks, her eyelids, kissing away her tears as they glided down her face. The insistent voice on the tannoy calling for boarding, issuing an unwelcome reminder that they had to part ways soon. 

They separated slightly, foreheads touching, they promised to call each other every day, to facetime when they could, not to let distance come between them. He had watched her go, and a part of his heart broke a little. She had turned then, running back quickly for one last kiss and to whisper how much she loved him. Then she was gone, shooting one last smile his way, her eyes filled with tears as she walked through the gates. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was one of those nights when Sarah was in bed, sleep elusive as she tossed and turned, eventually giving up, huffing and looking up at the ceiling. She looked at her phone and not for the first time that day she considered calling John B, just to hear his voice, to see him, her heart aching. She loved her life here, the friends she had made and her classes were amazing, but none of that made it any easier when she missed him so much she could hardly breathe. If that sounded melodramatic then she didn’t care, her hand finding the cold, empty side of the bed, desperately wishing the boy she loved was here with her. 

When she had first considered applying for colleges, all her choices had been around an hour away, she didn’t want to be far from him, from her home. But he had encouraged her to go further, to apply wherever she wanted, he had said he didn’t want to hold her back in any way, even if it meant they couldn’t be with each other every single day. He wanted her to feel free - before them, before him, she had limits. She didn’t allow herself to dream, to want more than what was expected. But John B pushed her to dream and if she hadn’t already known she loved him before, she knew she did in that moment. 

So she had applied to colleges all over, her and Pope even had some of the same schools, crossing their fingers that they’d end up near each other. It wouldn’t be the same without all of them together, but it was a piece of home and they had admitted that they were scared to split up. 2/5 was better than none. Kie was taking a year out, choosing to travel the world for a while. She had been so proud of her best friend for standing up to her parents and choosing her happiness, Kie made her feel braver. JJ and John B were the only ones staying back home, they had managed to loan their own garage and surf shop, and they were also fixing up the chateau up a little. 

They had all cried on their last day together, as they watched the sun go down, it felt like the end of an era. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah turned again, getting up for a glass of water then heading to the bathroom, looking into the mirror. Her eyes falling to the chain she always wore around her neck, a simple gold ring on it. She smiled, John B had given it to her as a sort of promise ring, and she never took it off. She willed herself not to cry, knowing she wouldn’t stop once she got going. 

The first few weeks when she had first got to the west coast, she had cried every night because of how homesick she was and how much she missed John B. They had called and texted constantly and it felt like he was there. Almost. 

As months went by and freshman orientation started, classes and parties and study nights and getting to know her dorm mates, their daily calls had stretched to weekly, their facetimes few and far between. Business had picked up for him and JJ too and he was tired pretty much all the time, she had worried about him working so much, noticing the strain, tracing his face through the screen. He had reassured her he was doing fine, just smiling and saying how much he missed her, and then they had got to talking about what else he missed, and then there wasn’t much talking. 

He was supposed to come to visit two months in and she had been so excited, she couldn’t wait to show him around campus and meet all her friends and if she was really honest? To have him all to herself, have him in her bed, on her, around her. The visit had fallen through because of some emergency with the business and when he had called to tell her, she had swallowed her disappointment because she knew it wasn’t his fault and she wanted to be supportive. If her smile was a little wobbly and there were some awkward pauses in between, neither of them mentioned it. 

They promised to reschedule, but then something always came up and it had been six, no seven, months since they had seen each other in person. 

They were both frustrated, with each other, with the situation, and they still had two more years of this to go. Neither of them wanted to admit that the naysayers had been right, long distance was hard. Especially when you were two thousand miles away from the person you loved. Time zones made it hard for their schedules to line up and gave room for doubt and insecurity to fester. Phone calls went missed sometimes, they’d reply late to messages; he would be working or she’d be in class, he’d be out with JJ at some party or she’d be having girl’s night. But they both told themselves it was okay, they were okay. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah never thought she’d have to worry about jealousy or insecurity with John B, their relationship had been so intense and all-consuming since day one, they fell hard and fast and she never thought he would have reason to question it. Until he did. 

It started with a random study session with some friends and a few other people she didn’t know as well, one of them being a guy from her class, Jacob, who asked her out once before. She had told him he had a boyfriend and she thought that was the end of it, he had smiled good naturedly and that was that. They were friends, sort of and so she didn’t think much of it when he started hanging around a bit more along with her other friends; Adam, Riley and Bea. They went on nights out, had movie days in one of the dorms, a few parties sprinkled in and she was having fun.

She noticed her friends here were a lot more active on Instagram, constantly posting to their stories and taking pictures of the group, so she felt like joining in. She figured it was a good way for John B and the rest of the pogues to keep updated and she knew Kie had been posting photos of her travels too. So she started posting more photos, a few arty selfies, photos of her new friends on a night out, study dates, the ocean the first time they had driven down the PCH. Under a few of her selfies, Jacob had left a few flirty comments which she ignored, liking Kie and JJ’s comments instead, tapping out a reply. She’d noticed that Jacob had started tagging her in more stories these days, when they’d be studying or he and Adam would prank the girls. Riley posted a picture of Sarah and Jacob, with some stupid caption, his arm had been slung around her shoulders and she remembered trying to create some distance between them, her smile a tad too bright because of how uncomfortable she felt. 

He hadn’t made a move but he still flirted with her or found ways to catch her alone, and she told him again about John B. She felt pissed in those moments, why wasn’t her not being interested enough? Why did she have to say she had a boyfriend for him to back off momentarily? If Kie were here she would have said something about the patriarchy and how fucked up it all was, Sarah missed her best friend extra in those moments. Riley and Bea were cool but they didn’t know her the way Kie did. 

Sarah thought back to a week ago and the conversation which probably led to her being unable to sleep right now. It had been a regular day, she had come back to her room, immediately flinging her books to the side, and pulling her comfy clothes on. One of John B’s faded shirts which swamped her petite frame and still smelt like him a little, and a pair of shorts, falling onto her bed in exhaustion. Finals were coming up and her head hurt just thinking about it. She rolled onto her stomach, checking her phone, quickly texting Pope back before slumping back down. Her phone started ringing and she looked up, her face broadening into a smile as she saw it was John B. 

His face popped up on the screen and she noticed immediately that he looked off, his brown eyes unreadable and he wasn’t smiling like usual. “Hey babe, what’s up? Sorry I missed you earlier, I was in class” she said softly, yawning a little. “I…I think this isn’t working” he choked out, and her heart sunk hearing those words. “Wait…what? I don’t understand, I know things have been a little weird recently but…what do you mean? You want to…” her throat felt tight, and she trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence. 

“Yeah, no…I mean, I don’t…I don’t know Sarah, we barely get a chance to speak these days and I’m not saying it’s just you, I can barely think most days with how busy we are and…” his eyes look sad, he pushes a hand through his hair in frustration, his whole face just drops, and she feels her eyes welling up a little but she takes a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. 

“So we’ll try harder, we set a schedule like we did at the beginning, we can make this work John B” she pushes, even though she feels like her heart is breaking a little. “I don’t know if we can…make it work I mean, I miss you so fuckin’ much I can barely stand it, but maybe it’s time to...call it what it is” he replies, staring into the screen, and she feels his hurt, because it’s her own too. “I miss you too, every single day, every night, even when I’m with other people…” a strange look crosses his face then and she picks up on it, fleeting as it is, “what’s that face for?” He just shakes his head, not saying anything, but she asks again until he comes out with it. 

“Do you miss me? Really? Because it seems like you have lots of people keeping you company…” he starts off hesitantly, then it comes out in a rush. Sarah is shocked into silence for a few moments, and she can just feel her heart pounding, “and what the hell is that supposed to mean? Of course I miss you” she insists, and she feels herself getting frustrated, how could he even think for a second that any of the people she’s met here could ever mean as much to her as he did?

“I’ve just noticed that Jacob dude seems like a pretty good friend” she didn’t expect him to bring him up of all people, she swallowed and replied “he means nothing to me John B, he’s not even really my friend, he just hangs out with us sometimes, and besides, he knows I have a boyfriend, please don’t make it deeper than it is”. She can see him taking in her words, closing his eyes “but he’s there, and I’m here, I chose to be away from you, I wouldn’t blame you if you…” she cuts him off, “if I what? Cheated on you? Because I would never fucking do that, not to you, not ever” she says emphatically and now she’s beyond frustrated. She feels really fucking hurt that he’d even suggest such a thing, “don’t you trust me?” she says and he just groans in response.

“I do trust you, it’s him I don’t trust, I know he likes you, he’s always hanging all over you and his comments say it all”, she feels her face heating up “it shouldn’t matter to you how he feels, you should know how I feel, I love you, not him. It’s not his ring I’m wearing, it’s not him I wish was with me every moment…it’s not him who is breaking my heart right now” she says angrily, dashing her tears away. “Sarah, I’m…” she cuts him off before he can say anything else “I wish you’d have more faith in me John B, after everything we’ve been through…you really think I’d do that? Betray you like that?” his face is pained and she can see he’s struck by seeing her cry like this. 

She knows in the rational part of her brain that he was just feeling insecure and sad but it really upset her to think about, that he had actually entertained the thought at all. She sighs, not meeting his eyes on the screen as he apologises again and again, looking up once she had got herself under control, well as much as she could anyway. Maybe everyone else was right, maybe this wasn’t going to work at all, she let the doubts and fears of the past six months in and she just felt drained. 

She met his eyes through the screen, “maybe you’re right, maybe we should…take a break or something”, the words almost didn’t come out but she said them. His eyes reddened, widening as he took in her meaning, he looked like he was going to protest then he said “if that’s what you want then okay, whatever will make you happy” his face was like a mask, his usually expressive eyes showing nothing. She just laughed, but it was devoid of her usual joy “none of this makes me happy John B, but like you said, this clearly isn’t working anymore” his face is pained, as her words reminded him of what he had said first. They stare at each other for a few more minutes, neither saying anything just taking in the fact that this was really happening. 

Sarah hung up first, she couldn’t see his face any more and wonder where the boy she loves had gone. He tried calling her back, once, twice, three times but eventually her phone quietened and she turns over, choosing to sleep this terrible day away. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah didn’t know how she got up and went to class the next day and the days after that, she was like a zombie, she barely even registered anything, her friends looked at each other worried but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She heard Riley and Bea, and even Adam speculating about her and John B till she got pissed and just confirmed their suspicions, yes they had broken up, and she was fine, she was. They just made some brownies, got her favourite icecream from the freezer and sat with her until she fell asleep that night. And when Jacob tried to talk to her, she just looked at him blankly, and when he found out she was single and had tried asking her out, Adam had pushed him out of their dorm, Riley and Bea telling him to fuck off. Sarah felt herself smile for the first time since the call that day, at her friends antics, they were good people. 

She was still wearing John B’s shirt which she had slept in and her hair was pulled into a messy bun, faded shadows under her eyes, the universal symbol of heartbreak and sleepless nights. She had called Kie up telling her about the breakup. Kie was shocked and she had asking what the hell happened, she couldn’t even remember what she had said really, crying so hard on the phone that her friend had just listened, asking her firmly whether she needed her and that she could be on the next flight whenever. 

Sarah had told her not to come, feeling guilty at pulling her friend away from her own life just for her own issues, even though she knew she would do the same for Kie if she had asked. JJ and Pope had reached out too, asking her if she was okay, she had replied with the truth, she knew they would know anyway, they didn’t mention John B directly and she didn’t ask. She knew he was probably about as okay as she was. Which was pretty damn terrible really. Somehow the thought of him suffering the way she was didn’t bring her any joy, they were both miserable and apart. What could be good about that? 

Which brought her to tonight, a week of bad sleep and crying had got her puffy eyes, a chronic headache and the worst part? She still missed John B. After getting back into bed, she went to open her chat with him, considering texting him, saying something, anything to break the silence. She almost did it but thought better of it, her pride getting in the way. Even her lock screen was taunting her now, a candid photo of them Pope had taken last summer staring at each other, they were sitting on the boat and were in their own world. She sighed, rubbing her eyes, deciding to force herself to sleep, wishing thoughts of a certain curly haired, brown eyed boy away.

And two thousand miles away, John B was doing the very same thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in a day, who is she? I don't know her but the inspiration is real I guess, hope you guys enjoy this one! 
> 
> I considered stretching the story out a bit further but who knows, maybe I'll write one shots in this verse in the future if that's something y'all wanna see. also upped the rating to M just in case, even though there isn't anything too detailed bc I can't write smut lol 😂

Sarah woke up in the morning, and headed straight into the shower. She knew she had to get back to normality eventually, she couldn’t keep moping around and not taking care of herself. It was just so damn hard when all she felt like doing was curling into a ball and sleeping forever. But that was life, shit happened. She brushed her hair for the first time in days, her blonde locks settling into a sleek line down her back, pulling her clothes on. She looked at her reflection, touching the chain around her neck, considering whether she should take it off now.

She didn’t want to though, it felt like part of her, plus even if they were…broken up, it was a daily reminder of John B and call her pathetic, but she would take any piece of him she could. Sarah held the ring up, sliding it onto her ring finger, a perfect fit. She remembered the day he had given it to her, he had been oddly nervous all day and when he had eventually mustered up the courage to give it to her, her eyes had widened in surprise. 

Her heart had skipped a beat, at his sweet words and how shy he was, she remembers the way she had said she loved it, sliding it on and pulling him in for a kiss. The look on his eyes when he had seen her wearing it all the time after made her heart full. She had never been particularly fond of gestures like a promise ring before, or idea of possession of any kind, of someone knowing her, making plans for the future had her running for the hills but with him, it had been different, it was all different with him. 

Sarah sighed dramatically, pushing the thoughts of the boy she loved to the side for now, swiping on a little lip-gloss and going to her room, grabbing her bag and heading to campus. Her roommates were gone already, but they had left a note on the fridge saying they were all going to meet for coffee, so she headed to the coffee shop. For the first time in a week she felt okay enough to smile when they asked her how she was and actually say more than a few words when they drew her into their conversations. Riley and Bea had pulled her into a hug when she got there, asking her quietly if she was okay and she surprised herself when she said she was. Time healed all wounds right? She said brightly, trying to ignore the pang in her chest, holding on to the cool metal band around her neck, as if to centre herself. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, John B felt like shit, he was up early too, being unable to sleep properly since that dreaded conversation a week or so ago. He looked like shit too, JJ was quick to tell him that, and he knew his best friend was still a little mad at him for what he had said to Sarah. Pope was choosing to remain neutral but Kie, well Kie had basically cussed him out on the phone on her best friend’s behalf, before asking how he was and checking on him. She carefully avoided any mention of Sarah and he didn’t ask, even though he wanted to desperately.

He had been cranky and tired and he had missed her even more than usual, the dull ache of her absence he had learnt to live with was extra rough that day. If he was really honest with himself, he was also scared and jealous, that the Jacob guy who featured so prominently on Sarah’s stories, who was always commenting on her pictures and who clearly had a thing for her was around her every day and he wasn’t. His insecurities like the little devil on his shoulder, whispering what if she fell in love with someone else, what if he wasn’t enough for her, what if she found someone better, someone who wasn’t working like a dog, and wasn’t covered in grease stains by the end of the day. Someone who could give her all the things she had given up to be with him, some clean cut preppy guy like Jacob?

He knew in his head it was his own choice to stay at home and he had enjoyed working with JJ, building something out of nothing, really he did. He wanted Sarah to be free, to go wherever she wanted, but his heart didn’t seem to get the memo. 

Then he had opened his big mouth and ruined everything, just remembering the look on her face when he had said the words made him want to disappear, the hurt in her soft brown eyes was palpable. He never wanted to be the reason why she was crying and yet he had fucked up, badly. He couldn’t quite believe it when she had asked to take a break, and even when she had ended the call, he was still in a state of shock. He had called her back, once, twice, three times but she didn’t pick up. It was only after when he really took it in that he realised that it was over, they were over. He had just lost the girl he loves, and it was basically his own fault. 

He sighed and just flopped back onto his bed, he could hear JJ rustling around in the kitchen, swearing occasionally, the smell of eggs and bacon filtering through the chateau. He heard footsteps coming toward his room, then saw JJ in the doorway. “Come on man, have some food then we’ll talk” he said, before going back to the kitchen. Weird, JJ wasn’t exactly a talker but he had made food so John B dragged himself out of bed, curious about what his friend wanted. They ate in silence and he could feel JJ shooting looks his way the entire time, till eventually he just looked up and snapped, “what?”

“You’re seriously going to let her go? Sarah is one of the best things to happen to you man, besides us pogues obviously” JJ said, smiling as he came to the end of his sentence but his tone was as serious as John B could ever remember him being. “I told you what happened, she said she wanted a break…” JJ cut him off, “only after you basically said some shit about some other dude and accused her, which was really fuckin’ shitty by the way, did I tell you how shitty that was?” John B just nodded in response, “yes JJ you’ve told me a grand total of twenty-five times how shitty that was” his tone full of sarcasm and frustration.

“So shittiness aside, how are you gonna fix it? You can’t just let this be the end, pogues never give up” JJ reminded him, “I don’t know man, I don’t think she wants me to call her, I tried but I think this might be it.” JJ just huffed angrily, “dude, come on! This is Sarah Cameron, you can’t just let her go without a fight”. John B looked up, seeing his friend was deadly serious “so what do you think I should do? Get on a flight and turn up at her dorm?” he laughed and JJ nodded “that’s exactly what you should fuckin’ do, get her back man, before it’s too late. If this was…” he trailed off.

John B was curious about where JJ was going with that sentence, he looked a bit dazed all of a sudden, “if this was…?” JJ just shook his head, “it’s nothing man, let’s just focus on the plan, you need to get your ass on a plane and get her back”. JJ shoved his friend towards the old computer in his room, “now?” John B said, exasperated, JJ just rolling his eyes “yeah, now dude! Book a flight, come on!” 

John B just groaned but started looking, finding a flight which he could actually afford and steeling himself at the thought of seeing Sarah after so long, underneath the fear and heartbreak of the past week, he was excited, nah fuck that, he was ecstatic at the idea. He turned to JJ once he had booked a flight, looking his friend in the eye, “thanks JJ, I needed that wakeup call”. JJ just shrugged him off but he could see how relieved and happy his friend was, John B pulling the other boy into a quick hug. He was glad JJ was here, people could say what they wanted about JJ Maybank but he was as loyal as they came, and stubborn as shit, but in this case, it was just what he needed. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JJ dropped John B off to the airport, the two boys hugging tightly, JJ slapping his back and shouting encouragements as he walked into the airport. His stomach was full of nerves the entire ride there and when he started walking towards the departure lounge. This was his first time going cross country, hell this was his first time getting on a plane, period. Growing up the Routledge’s hadn’t exactly been the type of family who went on vacations so this was all new to him. 

When he got on the plane he was seated next to a couple of older ladies who he somehow found himself talking to about Sarah, they both seemed super invested in his story and they practically swooned when he said he was hoping to go and get Sarah back. They both gave him their advice, telling him that he was a smart boy, and not to let her go, he just nodded, knowing that he never would again. Well that is if she forgave him. 

A long plane journey later, they touched down at LAX, his heart leaping again as he saw the welcome to California sign, he was here, now to go and see Sarah. He had got details about where her dorm was and everything else from Pope, who had been in on the plan with JJ, Kie had also passed along what she knew about Sarah’s schedule and so he had a pretty good idea of where she would be soon. He just prayed that it wasn’t too late, that she would hear him out and give them another chance. 

He breathed out slowly as the uber dropped him in front of her dorm building, he looked back down at his phone to double check the name, this was it. He got out, grabbing his small suitcase and building up his courage, his heart beating furiously at the thought of seeing the girl he loved after so long. He felt anxiety building up inside, what if she didn’t want to see him? What if? But then he looked down at his phone, his lock screen flashing, a picture he had taken of Sarah before she had left on the screen. Taken on a lazy morning as she lay in bed, sheets tucked around her, the ring he had given her falling in the middle of her chest, he had traced her neck with his mouth, his fingers interlinked with hers. 

The memory eased his fear, erasing any doubts he let linger, he was going to do this.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah was splayed across her bed, trying to stay focused on her textbooks and notes but nothing was sticking, she gave up sighing loudly as she slammed the books shut and pushed them onto the floor. Knowing she had hit a mental block for the afternoon, she thought about asking her roommates if they wanted to hang out or grab some lunch somewhere but changed her mind as her mind went to the pogues. They had all been acting weird the past few days, she couldn’t figure out why but they were acting shifty somehow. She wondered if it was because of her and John B, she really hoped that it wouldn’t be one of those things where they all picked sides, that would suck. Losing him was bad enough but losing the three other people who were like family too? That would be too much. 

And there it was. Her heart and mind drawn back to the root of her heartache, John B. Try as she might, pasting on a smile for her friends, trying to study and distract herself only worked so far. She couldn’t help it that her mind had other plans, she couldn’t stop thinking about John B, his hair, his smile, how he saw her, how his hands felt on her, those gentle eyes, the person who knew her best. Their connection ran soul deep. She had resolved to text him soon, just to see how he was, above anything else they had been friends, the best really and she wanted to see how he was, and if her motivations were slightly selfish then so what? 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A knock on the door broke through her musings, she waited, expecting one of her roommates to answer the door, but there was silence. Another knock came, this one a bit more insistent, she got up, stretching and rolling her eyes, who the hell could this be? They all had keys so it’s not like they needed to knock. She passed the mirror in the hallway, just realising that she was wearing nothing but one of John B’s shirts and a pair of fuzzy socks, her hair loose, but she just shrugged, her roommates had seen her like this before so it wasn’t a big deal. She opened the door, humming a tune under her breath, looking up and gasping at who she saw on the other side. 

John B. John B was here. Here as in here in LA, here at her dorm. He was here. After seven months. After their argument. Her heart – traitor that it was - leapt and she felt herself come alive for the first time in months at the sight of him. He couldn’t seem to look away from her, and she felt herself blush as he noticed her shirt. Well it was technically his. 

Sarah was speechless and she realised she was just standing there, the door still hanging open and neither of them had said anything for a good few minutes. She stepped back slightly, her mind still racing, “hi, um, come in I guess?” she hated herself for being so awkward, but what else could she really do? All she wanted was to talk to him properly, to hug him, to feel his lips against hers but she was still reeling from his sudden appearance. “Hi, sure I’ll just…” he came in, toeing his shoes off and putting his little suitcase near the door, looking at her when he was done. Things had never been this awkward between them, ever. Even in silence, they had always been comfortable. But that was before, and this was now. 

“um, I guess we can go to my room?” she suggested, turning around and walking towards it, she could hear his gentle movements behind her. He closed the door behind him. They got inside and sat on the bed, leaving some space between them, he looked around, noticing the pictures she had put up on the wall, a few of the pogues, a few of him and them together. Her eyes followed his to one of her favourite photos of them, they had been out on the boat, and he was leaning on her, her arms wrapped around his chest. Their eyes met and she knew they were both remembering that day, a faint smile crossing both their faces at the memory. 

“So uh, you’re here! Uh…why…why did you come?” Sarah almost face palmed, talk about stating the obvious. He shifted slightly, facing her more directly, “Yup, got on a plane, and came here…I wanted to…no, I needed to see you. I needed to apologise, for everything…I’m so fucking sorry Sarah” he said, gazing at her. She couldn’t look away, but she didn’t say anything, so he continued “I just missed you so much and this shit is hard, I guess I kinda just got caught up in it all and I messed up, big, I know that but I needed to see you, to know if you were okay…because to tell you the truth, I’ve been feeling like shit”. 

She took a second to take it in, she closed her eyes and her chest ached, he was here, saying all the right things and she was still so sad. She felt his hand reaching out, holding hers, linking their fingers, his other hand touching her cheek gently, wiping away tears. Sarah hadn’t even realised she was crying. “You really hurt me John B, like a lot. I knew this was gonna be hard but I guess I didn’t realise it fully, like if we didn’t talk about it, it wouldn’t be real you know? I’ve not been doing too hot either” she said softly, admitting how she had been feeling. She wasn’t stupid, she knew he was here to talk, to fix things and sue her if she couldn’t be angry at him anymore, she was tired of feeling angry. He moved closer, still holding her hand, their legs touching now. 

“I know baby, I know I hurt you and I promise, it won’t happen again. I think we both were a bit too optimistic, thinking that all this distance wouldn’t change things somehow. I mean how could it not?” their eyes met, “how could it not matter when all I want to do is talk to you every day, to wake up with you next to me, to know that you’re the last person I’ll see before I go to bed each night”. The words were just pouring out, he couldn’t stop them if he tried. “How could it not matter when all I want to do is be able to kiss you whenever I want” he lifted her hand, kissing it reverently, as if to illustrate his point “you’re everything, Sarah, you’re it for me. I can’t lose you” he finished, his eyes red by the end, shuddering slightly from the emotion. 

She was speechless again, this was everything she had been wanting to hear for the past seven months, she just looked at him, taking him in. Her head telling her to keep distance between them, about how their problems were still there, a pretty speech wouldn’t cure them but her heart? Her heart seemed to come alive, and all she wanted was to touch him, to hold him close and reassure him that she was still his. Sarah moved closer, till she was a whisper breath away, his hands sliding up her bare thighs slowly. She held his face, her thumbs tracing his cheekbones lightly, their lips meeting. They smiled into the kiss and it felt like coming home. 

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Sometime later, they lay in her small bed, their breathing evened out, Sarah was practically on top of John B, the sheets loosely slung on top covering their lower bodies, their legs curled together underneath. They had started out gentle, all butterfly kisses and searching eyes, getting familiar with each other’s bodies and movements again but it quickly became more, so much more. Their kisses turning feverish, him holding her hips tightly, their clothes abandoned, her small hands clutching his back, as they came closer and closer, till Sarah didn’t know where she ended and he began.

Sarah started giggling lightly, John B moving her hair out of her face so he could see her properly, “what’s so funny?” he asked, smiling at her expression. “I was just thinking; I hope my roommates didn’t come in while we were…otherwise occupied” he laughed in response, “well you were pretty loud so…” she slapped his shoulder lightly, “hey I don’t remember hearing you complaining…you like it when I get loud” she could feel him move underneath her slightly, he tipped her chin up, his eyes darkening a little with desire “I really do” and then there was no more talking for a while. 

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Sarah woke up slowly, stretching a little, she felt warm and happy, a bit sore but good. She opened her eyes, seeing John B was still asleep, his arms slung around her, his head tucked underneath her chin, his curls tickling her slightly. She kissed his head, twirling strands of his unruly hair between her fingers, his arms tightened around her in response. “Mmm…good afternoon” he said, his voice still thick with sleep, she looked towards the window, it was dark outside, the lights and sounds of the city peeping through. “Good evening, you mean” she teased, she couldn’t believe they had spent half the day in bed, not that she was complaining. 

His eyes opened and he threw a lazy, sated smile at her, he was so handsome and not for the first time she thought about how lucky she was, that he was genuinely beautiful inside and out. She shifted beneath him gently, “we should probably get out of bed soon, I wanna take a shower and then maybe we can go out? Grab some dinner?” she suggested. 

He kissed her collarbone, smiling now, wide awake and mischief clear in his eyes “that sounds like a good plan, maybe we can save even more time if we shower together, saving the environment or whatever”, she giggled, her breath catching a little as he touched her promise ring, making light circles around it on her bare chest. She was tempted to stay put but if she didn’t get up now then she knew they wouldn’t leave this room, so she shot out of bed, his eyes appreciative as he looked at her. 

She put on his t-shirt which she had discarded earlier, grabbing two towels out of her dresser, and walked to her bedroom door, opening it and calling out for her roommates. She wasn’t going to parade around naked if they were around, but she didn’t hear any response so she turned around, meeting John B’s gaze. “Race you!” she shucked off her shirt, watching as his eyes widened, he got out of bed in a second or so, she had never seen him move so fast. Sarah ran to the bathroom, he was behind her, she shrieked loudly as he caught her, holding on to her waist. They laughed as they put the towels to the side, stepping into the small shower. There was just about enough space for both of them, they adjusted, but it was still a tight fit. 

Sarah had missed this closeness, this intimacy. It wasn’t about the fact that they were naked in front of each other, but the fact that they both felt safe, unconditionally so. John B grinned down at her, and kissed her gently as the water sprayed down. 

They emerged, towels wrapped around them, their hair wet as they made their way back to her room, meeting the eyes of Sarah’s three roommates who stopped talking when they saw the couple. Sarah’s could literally feel her face getting red and heat set in, John B on the other hand was waving at each of them, talking as if this was completely normal. She squeaked out something, she didn’t even know what, grabbed his hand and pulled him to her room quickly. 

There was a knock on the door, John B opened it a crack, Adam pushed John B’s suitcase through the gap, “figured you probably needed this man” half laughing as he did it before walking away. John B and Sarah looked at each other and burst out laughing, it wasn’t the way she had originally planned for her roommates to meet her boyfriend but it was definitely memorable at least.

They changed and then sat down for a while, catching up about what had been going on back home with JJ and the garage, the surf shop and the chateau and she filled him in about more details of her life here. They knew they had to talk about how they were going to manage long distance from now on, they knew breaking up wasn’t an option, they weren’t meant to be apart; they may eventually have found a way to be okay but why be ordinary apart when they could be extraordinary together. It was tough but they got all they were feeling out, and they felt better after, getting everything off their chests. They both knew that there would be tough times yet to come but they would face them together. 

That’s when John B revealed that the other pogues had forged this little plan, JJ being the mastermind behind it with Kie in close second, Pope providing all the logistics. She shook her head, that’s why they had been acting so strange, she couldn’t wait to talk to them. “I miss them all so much, I miss being together the five of us” Sarah said out loud, and he nodded in agreement “me too, but hopefully this summer we can all be in the same place, Kie should be back, Pope too and you know where I’ll be, wherever you are” he said, lacing their fingers together and kissing her forehead gently. “Wherever you are, that sounds good to me” she sighed happily, as he held her to his chest. They would make it, they knew it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo, what did you guys think? kudos / comments appreciated + as always, most importantly hope you guys enjoyed! x

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, what did you guys think? kudos / comments appreciated + most importantly, I hope you guys enjoyed! x 
> 
> P.S. there will be a part two soon, these two have me so inspired that I'm juggling a multi chapter fic and this story now, obx has officially taken over my life but I'm not mad about it.


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